


Not-quite coitus, very much interruptus

by choctopus



Series: You'll meet some of the best friends of your life at Uni. [7]
Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Coitus Interruptus, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-30
Updated: 2014-05-30
Packaged: 2018-01-27 15:16:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1715225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/choctopus/pseuds/choctopus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which no one is quite sure what Athos and Ninon are up to (if anything), there's a Valentines party, and Aramis should really stop just wandering into people's bedrooms.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not-quite coitus, very much interruptus

**Author's Note:**

> Modern AU where our companions the musketeers are instead a group of rowdy students at a British university (because that's the environment your author has knowledge of)  
> Set in the aftermath of 'We did the mash' and 'girls' night in'

It was snowing again; big, soggy flakes, which landed on top of yesterday’s slush and just made everything wetter. Anne and Constance were glad for the warmth when they walked into the campus coffee shop, arms linked and bundled in warm clothes. 

They got settled down in two big armchairs by the window with their drinks, slipping off their wellies and tucking them under a radiator. 

“So have you heard anything about Athos and Ninon since Christmas?” Anne asked.

“How do you mean?”

“Well, I know they both said they’d met up a few times after Halloween, but I didn’t hear anything over the Christmas holidays, and not a peep since, either. I was hoping something might come of it.” Anne shrugged and tucked her feet up into her armchair.

“I think he said they’d been in touch over Christmas, but no, I haven’t heard anything since. Porthos and Aramis will know something, I’ll grill them next time I can get them alone.” Constance grinned conspiratorially. 

“Mm, did you see the posters for the Valentine ball?” Anne said, sipping her coffee.

“Is it just a normal ‘Wild Wednesday’ but with big paper hearts stuck on the walls?” It was a long-running campus joke that ‘special’ union events were rarely any more special than a handful of pound-shop ‘seasonal decorations’ packs and a costume theme. 

“There’ll be heart shaped balloons as well! And a special on ‘cherub’s kiss’ cocktails.”

“What’s a cherub’s kiss?”

“Mostly champagne… well, cava.” Anne said. “They taste fruity and they’ll get people ‘hammered enough to have fun’ in Louis’s words.” 

“Do you think he realises that there are actually students who don’t drink?” They laughed. 

“Anyway, I was thinking it’d be nice to make it a girls’ night? Us, Flea and her other half, Charlotte and Alice, maybe Ninon too.” 

“Yeah, that sounds good!” Constance agreed. “Got any plans for the day itself, you and Louis?”

“Dinner and a show, I think. That’s all he’ll tell me. How about you, up to anything with young d’Artagnan?” Anne waggled her eyebrows as if they were sharing something utterly scandalous, despite the fact Constance was well free of her previous relationship. 

“He’s asked me over for a DVD and some pizza.”

“Still taking it slow?”

“That and we’re both skint.” 

“Constance, loans only came through a month ago.”

“And I’m budgeting! I mean, I can’t speak for d’Art on that one; he might have spent it all on pizza and shoes already.” Constance smiled fondly. 

 

There was a hockey mini-social that week. Both men’s and women’s teams had home matches, and they headed for the pub afterwards.

“Don’t you owe me a drink from last week, Aramis?” Constance said when she arrived.

“Yeah, yeah, alright. You coming to the bar, Porthos?” 

Constance dropped her bag and coat onto a chair and headed for the bar as soon as she could see the boys were following. 

“Vodka and tonic for me.” She told Aramis, then got to the point; “Have you guys heard anything about Athos and Ninon lately?”

“He’s not said anything to us.” Porthos said.

“Anne would know from Ninon, wouldn’t she?” Said Aramis

“Ninon hasn’t said anything to her.” Constance explained. “I thought you guys would know!”

“Well, he hasn’t said anything but… ah!” Aramis trailed off as the barman came to him.

“He’s been busy a lot lately, with ‘things’.” Porthos explained, making finger quotes in the air.

“Tell her about the text, Porthos”

“He left his phone on the table when he went to the loo yesterday, two texts from her!”

“Too long to get a good idea what exactly they were about from the previews.” Aramis interjected; “But it looks like some sort of arrangements were being made.” 

“Thank you, boys. You’ll let me know if there’s any more information, of course?” Constance batted her eyelashes.

“Unless we’re absolutely sworn to secrecy, of course.” Aramis pointed out.

“Of course.” Constance agreed. They picked their drinks up off the bar, and headed back to the table. 

“Are you guys planning to go to the Valentine ball?” She asked them. 

“If I can stop laughing about it being called a ball when it’s just another Wednesday night.” Porthos laughed.

Aramis squeezed Porthos’s shoulder as they sat down. “D’Art said he fancied it so I think we’re intending to go.” He said. “Usual suspects sort of thing. Are you fishing for an invite?” He winked. Constance pulled a face at him.

“No, I’m not. I’m already going with the girls.” She rolled her eyes, and looked to Porthos for back-up.

“Oh now look what you’ve done Aramis, she’s giving me the ‘make him behave’ face, and you know I can’t say no to our Connie.” Porthos said, giving Aramis a gentle shove. 

“Alright, alright, I’ll be good!” Aramis held his hands up in submission. “We’ll definitely see you there.”

 

Constance arrived at Flea’s house a little earlier than everyone else. These events always had  free entry if you were ‘appropriately dressed’, and Anne had passed on the information that tonight, that meant pink and hearts above all. Flea, of course, wouldn’t normally have been seen dead in anything but black, so Constance was called to handle the emergency.  

Flea barely let her through the door before demanding to see what she’d brought.

“Right; fluffy jumper, or hen-night feather boa?” Constance said, holding them up for inspection.

Flea grabbed the jumper. “This one. Totally nineties, isn’t it.” She pulled it on over her black slip dress. “Hey, Carl, what do you think?” She said, stepping through her bedroom door for a moment.

“Cute!” Carla replied. She came to the bedroom door to greet Constance. “Go make yourself comfortable in the living room Constance, we’ll be through in a mo.”

Constance went and grabbed a glass off the drainer in the kitchen, before settling herself on one of the sofas and pouring out a bacardi and coke from the bottles she’d brought. 

Carla strolled in with a big glass of wine. 

“You look great, by the way.” She said to Constance as she sat down on the other sofa. 

“Same to you. No pink though?” 

“SU staff get in free anyway, and I’d have to have borrowed something off a mate like Flea has.” Carla smiled. They sat in quiet for a minute, sipping their drinks. Flea joined them, but there was a knock at the door before she could sit down. She let Anne in, and the traditional five minutes of cooing over one-another’s outfits ensued. Anne had bought a new dress for the occasion, knee length with a lacy overlay, and she swished about the room like a Disney princess to show it off. 

There was a bang from upstairs, and Aramis’s voice floated down to them saying; 

“Porthos, if the landlord takes my security deposit because of the hole you’ve made in that wall I swear to God...” 

The girls watched the doorway at the bottom of the stairs as the two boys made their way down. Aramis stepped through, noted their presence and immediately dragged them into the argument.

“You know, every time he opens my bedroom door he flings it open so it bangs into the wall? There’s a damn great dent where the handle hits every time.” He said, pointing an accusing thumb at Porthos over his shoulder. 

“There’s barely any dent at all!” Porthos argued back. Constance took the first possible opportunity to change the subject and stop them bickering. 

“Aramis are you wearing wings?” 

“I’m cupid!” He grinned, waving his toy bow in the air. “Going to fire it directly at people who really should stop pussyfooting around and actually snog each other.”

“Athos and Ninon?” Anne asked

“Bingo. Astute as ever, madam captain.” Aramis said. Anne smiled with pride, and they gazed at each other for just a moment too long. 

“You girls look great, by the way.” Porthos said, by way of an interruption. Aramis agreed, then asked;

“Actually, Connie is that my jacket?”

She looked down at the denim jacket she had on. “Oh yeah! I forgot I’d borrowed it off you.” She smiled, sheepishly. 

“Do you actually own any of your clothes, Connie?” Flea said.

“The skirt is definitely mine.” 

“It is;” Aramis said, “But I picked it out.”

“You just spotted it first!” Constance argued. Porthos rolled his eyes and clapped Aramis on the shoulder.

“Aaaanyway.” he said. “We’d better be on our way. See you later, ladies!” And he dragged Aramis out through the kitchen. 

 

“Athos is being so bad about texting back lately.” Aramis said as they walked down the street. “Not a peep from him in more than an hour.” 

“He’s got a draft deadline coming up hasn’t he? Probably just working on his dissertation and lost track of time.” 

Five minutes walk brought them to the alley behind Athos’s house. Porthos reached over the gate to let them into the yard, and they let themselves in through the back door. 

 

It was quiet and dark in the house.

“No one home?” Porthos suggested. 

“There must be someone here or they’d have locked up.” Aramis said. “Let’s look upstairs.”

They crept up the stairs carefully, zig-zagging to avoid the creakiest treads. Athos’s door was closed but not locked, which Aramis always took to mean he was welcome to enter. 

“Ah.” He said. Porthos popped his head round the door too. Athos was tied to his headboard with a gag in his mouth, and Ninon was sat astride his belly in a corset and stockings. 

“Fthuck.” Athos said around the gag. 

“Well that answers Anne’s question.” Porthos said. “We’ll be downstairs.”


End file.
